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5 Ways to Get Your Family Involved in Helping Orphans

Did you know there are 153 million orphans around the world?

Last week I attended a conference on orphan care called Summit VIII, where I became aware of the staggering numbers of orphans on this planet. I couldn’t believe that only 1% of the 153 million are adopted each year, which means that most orphans will live the rest of their lives without a family to call their own. Can you imagine?

In the United States, the concept of foster care was introduced to replace orphanages. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think of the USA as having a lot of orphans. The truth is that it does. There are approximately half a million children in the foster care system, and over 100,000 of those are waiting for someone to adopt them. Most children in foster care are in “the system” for over a year… that’s a long time for a child. Those with more challenging difficulties end up in the residential group homes (orphanages, basically) that still exist.

May is National Foster Care month, and I happened to stumble across a few creative ways to support orphans, whether they are in your own neighborhood or a thousand miles away. Not everyone feels led to foster or adopt a child, but there are still several things you can do to be proactive.

1) Become a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for a child. This is a volunteer who develops a relationship with a foster child and mentors them on a periodic basis.

2) Support those who support orphans. Mow, babysit, or organize meals for adoptive or foster parents with a new child in their home.

3) Visit foster kids. Take dessert and board games over to a foster care group home for a game night.

4) Go on a mission trip to an orphanage. If you need help finding one to visit, contact me and I’ll help get you connected.

5) Sponsor a child internationally. There are millions of children that have been taken out of destitute circumstances to be cared for by non-profit organizations, such as Compassion International or Children of the Nations. These children need sponsors to help them receive regular medical care, a quality education, food, and housing. A sponsor typically pays around $35 per month, and they are encouraged to write letters and maintain correspondence with their child.

The number of children in need around the world is daunting, but I was so encouraged to learn about all of the organizations that are pouring their time and resources into alleviating this global problem. I encourage you to consider how you can get you and your family involved in small, bite-sized ways!

Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist Supervisor. Sharing the Secrets of Play Therapy with Today’s Parents (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)



 

3 Great Books to Prevent Child Sexual Abuse

It’s hard to teach children about their bodies and how to protect them because it’s a topic that is uncomfortable for many adults. Most parents are eager for any help they can get, and that’s why I wanted to share these books with you. April is also child abuse awareness month, so this post seemed timely.

1) “It’s My Body” is a book for preschool-age children that creatively teaches them safe boundaries, as well as how to distinguish between good and bad touch. They also learn how to respond when someone touches them inappropriately. It’s a simple but powerful little book.

2) “Protect your Child from Sexual Abuse: A Parent’s Guide” can be purchased to accompany “It’s My Body.” I really like this book because it provides a short, but very helpful summary of information to parents about sexual abuse and how to keep their children safe. It also provides parents with fun, playful activities to teach children about their bodies and safe touch.

3) “The Trouble with Secrets” is a great book to help young children understand what to do when someone asks them to keep a secret. They learn which secrets should be kept, and which ones shouldn’t.

If you search online for other children’s books on this topic, you will find a lot of them. It’s encouraging to me that parents have so many resources available to them these days, so make sure to reach out and grab a few!

Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist Supervisor. Sharing the Secrets of Play Therapy with Today’s Parents (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)


 

Child Tantrums as Mental Disorders? You’ve Got to be Kidding!

If your child throws a fit in the middle of the grocery store, does that it mean he or she has a mental disorder? I certainly don’t think so, but the bible of psychiatry might disagree…

The word on the street is that “the powers that be” behind the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) are potentially making some major changes to the bible for psychiatry, including pathologizing temper tantrums as mental illness in children. This new condition would be called “temper dysregulation with dysphoria” or TDD.

By adding this diagnosis to the DSM, the American Psychiatric Association argues that it would be easier for clinicians to differentiate between other mood disorders in children, such as bipolar disorder (formerly known as manic-depressive disorder).
But then there are those like myself, who believe a diagnosis like TDD is going to encourage clinicians to over-diagnose children and further misunderstand their behavior.

If a child has repeated temper tantrums that seem to be getting out of control, instead of diagnosing them, I encourage parents think about some of the following:

• Has your child experienced any kind of major adjustment lately, such as relocation, divorce, remarriage, and the birth of a new sibling? Sometimes major changes like these can cause tantrums.

• Do the tantrums tend to happen around the same time of day? If so, maybe your child tired, hungry, or needs a break to re-group. For example, if the tantrums always happen when your child comes home from school, consider going to a park to be outdoors or having some “downtime” at home before doing other activities.

• Are you feeling irritated, upset, or off-kilter yourself? Children are like sponges, so they “soak in” all of the emotions around them. If you are feeling angry or annoyed, your child may sense that and react through tantrums.

I encourage parents to consider what their child may be trying to communicate to them through the tantrums. Children don’t have strong verbal skills, so they rely heavily on their behavior to express how they feel. If your child is having repeated tantrums, ask yourself, “What is my child trying to tell me?” Maybe they are simply upset because they didn’t get what they want, but maybe it’s more than that. Maybe they need more downtime during the day, a healthy snack, more one-on-one time with an adult, greater consistency, a daily routine, or fewer life adjustments.

When we think about child tantrums from this perspective, I believe we will be less likely to diagnose them and better equipped to actually help them.

Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist Supervisor. Sharing the Secrets of Play Therapy with Today’s Parents (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)
 

Using Easter Eggs to Teach Your Child about Feelings: 2 Easy Ways

Easter is quickly approaching, and with it come a few easy ways to help your child learn about feelings. In fact, there are two simple ways to use Easter eggs to encourage your child’s emotional growth!

Number One:
Easter Eggs Feelings Activity: If you plan on dying Easter eggs with your child, consider making each color of dye a different feeling. Each time you dip an egg in a specified color, share a time you felt the feeling that the color represents. For more info on how to do this, watch my 2-minute youtube video on it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LWBVTNcJo4&list=UU3bgL3Fclp-CWiZ8nwJZr1w...

Number Two:
Easter Egg Chitter Chatter: Instead of filling Easter eggs with candy, try filling them with small pieces of paper that have sentence starters on them. Examples of sentence starters are, “Sometimes I listen to…” School…” “I relax when…” “I just can’t…” “I’m good at…” and “I don’t like…” Put one sentence starter inside each egg, and put all of the eggs in a basket on the dinner table. Invite each person to grab an egg from the basket and finish the sentence. Feel free to finish each other’s sentence starters too!

Both of these activities can help you get a fun and meaningful conversation going with your child, and they can also facilitate emotional bonding. They are play-based, so your child won’t even realize he or she is learning about feelings!

Source: Amy Wickstrom, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Play Therapist Supervisor. Sharing the Secrets of Play Therapy with Today’s Parents (www.morethanatoy.com/blog)